Bonding In The Car!

I was driving my son to his mother's house this past weekend and he began asking when he could get his own car. His mom and I live about 15 minutes from each other and his school, job and friends are by my house. He usually has access to her car, when he's spending the week with her but when he's with me, I choose to drive him around; even dropping him off and picking him up from school -- which is only a few blocks from the house. I work out of the house, so I can always arrange my schedule to get him where he needs to be.

I only have the one car and could certainly let him have it to go to school, work and hang out with his friends but I kind of like knowing it's available when I need it. I've always just driven him to where he needs to be. I know many of you reading this think I'm crazy. Well, now that he's 18 that's just plain silly.

After our discussion about the car, I realized why I haven't worked real hard to get him one of his own -- he's my "car buddy". His mom and I divorced when he was in pre-school and at the time we lived about 25 minutes apart. We had found a private school for him to attend (Pre-School to 8th Grade) that was close to where she worked and not far from my office and since we switched custody each week, we found it easier to make the switch at school each Friday afternoon. He had clothes and personal stuff at each house, so this was a great arrangement but it required at least 40 minutes in the car each day -- 20 minutes to school and 20 minutes back home after school.

I realize this now, the time in the car was our time to bond! I don't recall any earth shattering conversations but over the last 14 years the two of us have really enjoyed our time in the car. I always made a point not to have the radio on while we were in the car, so I could catch up on his day. Most days, we talked from the time he got in the car to the time I said goodbye. Well, that habit is kind of hard to break. As he's grown older, our "car time" is about the only time we talk, so I'm beginning to see why I've avoided the subject of getting him his own car. I don't want to lose my "car buddy"

I think the bond we have as father and son, was strengthened by that time we shared in the car but he is now 18 years old and building his own life, so perhaps its time for me to let that part of our relationship end. To be honest I'm not looking forward to that. Who would have thought that 40 minutes in a car each day would have such an effect. I'm going to miss my "car buddy"